Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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