ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
