Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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