No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
