he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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