it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
