Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
