I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
