Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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