I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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