i permit you to call me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
