She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
