Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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