Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
