doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
