But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
