community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
