I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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