well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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