haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
