In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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