I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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