I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
