Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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