i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
