He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
