I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize