Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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