okay pat passed out under dana's car
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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