I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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