I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
