Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
