That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
