we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
