His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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