how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.