Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.