I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.