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• (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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• (213): View more from California

  You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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• (817): View more from Texas

  My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.

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