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• (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.

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• (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He probs deserved it.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good man does.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

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• (904): View more from Florida

  HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Seriously. Castrate.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.

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