Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
