Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..