Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.