dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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