it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
