I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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