oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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