Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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