wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
