I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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