dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
