I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
