So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I smell like Dick and happiness
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