i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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