She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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