my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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