you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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