We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
