too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
