Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I deserve this hangover.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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