there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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