Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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