Im at strip club and am horny
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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