Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
