From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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